Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Deany V. goes to LexiCon


Hello again readers, Deany V. here.
 This past weekend the Venture Home News did a special  feature on the first annual Lexington Comic and Toy Convention, in Lexington Kentucky.
Pop decided we were going to Lexington because he was hoping to interest one, or preferably both of the nearby sports teams that his modified versions of grandpa Jonas' hover-boots could give them the edge in their basketball tournament and get them into a bidding war.
Brock told him that there was no way that bulky, humming hover-boots making players float two feet off the ground was going to slip by the NCAA's notice, but I don't really know what civil rights has to do with anything.
Pop just told Brock not to be such a negative Nelly and that if they wouldn't buy the hover-boots, he could always offer to crank out a paper about a scientific breakthrough that suggests that coal smoke is actually good for the environment.
Anyway, he said that he needed time to think so he sent us out to see the town. Hank wanted to go to the convention to see if he could get them to book Shallow Gravy to perform next year, but he decided that the "venue wasn't big enough for Shallow Gravy" but I think that's just because nobody was interested in paying him an advance, or taking his business cards, or buying the CDs he brought with him.
Brock signed up for a mixed martial arts seminar hosted by one of the Power Rangers, but apparently his reputation preceded him and they wouldn't even let him in. He called the guy a spandex wearing coward and challenged him to fight anytime, anywhere, but I think he was just bored. Brock's not big on toys or comic books, and there was only one car, and it just played annoying music and sprayed out fog.
I met a weird old...junkyard wizard that was selling jewelry made of gears and cogs and glass and lights, and I thought about buying some to send to Triana to let her know that I was thinking of her, but Hank said that it looked like something that H.E.L.P.eR. coughed up.
The 501st Legion and the Mandalorian Mercs were there, and wore neat costumes and carried neat weapons, but it turned out that their armor was just plastic and the blasters just lit up and made weird noises. And some of them were kind of…chunky. I think maybe they were just wannabe Henchman. Then again, Gary is chunky and wears a goofy costume, and he is actually very nice and pretty good at his job as a Henchman. Way nicer than those weird guys that work for Monstroso.
I was surprised the Monarch didn’t storm in to ruin our day, but I guess he was busy.
The day ended largely uneventfully, Brock had H.E.L.P.eR. load up the X-1 with Kentucky bourbon and we flew away into the sunset.  GO TEAM VENTURE!

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