Monday, December 3, 2012

Wonderful Christmas Time, 21, and 24, by Simon Burgess


Merry Christmas from my son Simon!
He made this with his iPad. It took 5689 frames to produce. The set is Bag End from our latest Hobbit movie, (hence the round door in the background).https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=565269490155122

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

The Venture Home News September Prize Give-Away Winner at Dragon* Con 2012!

Josh Oliver, was the winner of The Venture Home News September Prize Give-away extravaganza! Josh answered a trivia question asked by The Venture Home News at The Venture Bros. Fan Panel on Saturday afternoon at Dragon*Con 2012. Congratulations  Josh Oliver! Keep reading The Venture Home News for more exciting give-aways coming your way soon. The Venture Home News where every contest is guaranteed to have a winner!
And as always, "Lets All Smoking"!
The Trivia Question was: In The Episode Viva Los Muertos Dr. Venture can bee seen crossing an item off his to do list. What item does He cross off?
Answer: Beat God at his own game.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

The Winner of The Venture Home News August Give-away is Brian Eidolon!

*FLASH*
Good afternoon Mr. and Mrs. America and all the ships at Sea!
Brian Eidolon, the winner of The Venture Home News August Pre-Dragon Con. give-away Contest has received his prize!
Brian shown here, with his new Bif Bang Pow, Entertainment Earth, SDCC exclusive Bloody Brock Samson figure is said to be elated. We wish the duo every happiness in the world in their new life together!
Check back in September when the Venture Home news will be bringing it's readers another exciting give-away contest,(that is if we don't give it all away at Dragon*Con). Until then keep reading The Venture Home News where every contest is guaranteed to have a winner, and as always.
                       GO TEAM VENTURE!

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

The Vewnture Home News August Pre-Dragon*Con Give-away!

*The Venture Home News August Pre-Dragon*Con. Give-away contest is here*

The Venture Home News in Appreciation of all its fans is giving away This SDCC exclusive Bloody Brock Samson figure by Bif Bang Pow to one lucky reader!
All you have to do to enter is comment on this post, you will be assigned a number in the order that you comment. Then on August 15th. I'll close this Contest, put all the numbers in a hat and my son Simon will draw out the Winner. I will then FB message the winner,(The winner will then have 24 hours to respond, if at the end of 24 hours the winner does not respond another number will be drawn) then I'll mail you the figure. No strings attached, and unlike other recent contests by some I could mention this contest is not rigged. All you have to do is when the figure arrives take a photo of yourself, and post that photo on The Venture Home News as soon as possible. Only one entry will be accepted per person. Brought to you by The Venture Home News where every contest is guaranteed to have a winner. So Come on over to The Venture Home News on Facebook and enter.
Good Luck, and GO TEAM VENTURE!

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Doc Hammer and James Urbaniak to be at Dragon*Con 2012

It's finally official Venture Bros.fans!
Good news Venture Bros. fans...Doc Hammer and James Urbaniak join us for more Dragon*Con fun!

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Deany V. at The White House.


Hello again faithful readers of The Venture Home News,
Deany V. here at The White House, well this is as close as I got to The White House because when we pulled up to the gate and Brock showed them his I.D. the guard made a phone call and all of a sudden Secret Service agent Hauser came running out waving a gun and shouting. After a heated argument with Brock and Pop agent Hauser told us it would be a cold day in H-E double hockey sticks before we ever were allowed back in The White House after that whole disaster that happened during the Breyer administration! So after impounding our vehicle and strip searching us all, (even H.E.L.P.eR), they finally let us go. So in today’s photo I’m on foot in front of The White House with the rest of the raggedy butt masses, as Pop called them, only he didn’t say butt.  The White House was designed by James Hoban and was supposedly patterned after a building called The Leinster House in Dublin Ireland. It was built between 1792 and 1800 which seems like a long time to build one house, the first President to live there was John Adams.  President Thomas Jefferson was the first to have a Water Closet installed, (Hank wanted to know why ancient people kept their water in a closet, Yeesh), In 1814 during The War of 1812 those mean old British, (probably some of Uncle Gentleman’s relatives), burned it down, afterwards there was talk in the Congress of moving the Capitol to Cincinnati, boy am I glad that cooler heads prevailed. Reconstruction began almost immediately and President James Monroe moved in, in 1817. Between 1818 and the late 1970’s it was painted white more than forty times. It wasn’t always called The White House, in the beginning it was called the Presidential Palace, then The Executive Mansion, not until Teddy Roosevelt, by executive order changed the name and, had the words White House engraved on the official stationary in 1901 did the name change for good. It took me two hours to explain to Hank that Teddy Roosevelt, and Franklin Roosevelt were not the same person, I’m not sure if he believes me even now. By 1948 the house was declared to be in danger of collapse, so President Harry Truman moved into the Blair House and a  restoration was began, in the end it would cost nearly six million dollars and take four years to complete. The walls were stripped bare of all the fixtures, and murals and the whole place was gutted, with nothing left of the original but the outside walls. The only thing they couldn’t clean out was the Ghost of Mr. Lincoln, (Pop said, “It was because he didn’t want to spend eternity with his nut job wife”, but I don’t think he had much choice. Everything on the inside was replaced with steel and concrete, it was fire proofed, and air conditioned, and all those cool underground Umbrella Corporation type bunkers were installed. Then all the old junk they had been so careful removing was replaced so it looked just like it had before they started. Sort of a facelift only on the inside, leaving us with what we basically have today not so much a house as a fortress disguised as a house. Today they use some really cool missiles called NASAMS to protect the White House, and the airspace above The White House is restricted. A fact which Brock pointed out to Pop when Pop wanted to buzz The White House with the X1 on our way out of Washington.
All in all I had a great time visiting our nation’s capitol, and I suggest all Americans make the time to visit, although I think Hank would have probably rather stayed home and practiced his bass with Dermott. I’m not really sure if the trip was successful for Pop or not since he’s been rather quiet since the cavity search that he and Brock got from White House security. Well we’re flying back to the compound now, and I can’t help but wonder why we never found that statue of Grandpa Jonas that I was sure would be in Washington since he was the greatest super-scientist of his day. I’m sure he was as great as Philo T. Farnsworth, and he got a statue in The Capitol building the only thing that guy ever invented was the television. Well until next time dear readers I remain your roving cubby reporter Deany V. and for more hard hitting journalism keep reading The Venture Home News!
                                      GO TEAM VENTURE!

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Deany V. At The Jefferson Memorial


Hello again faithful Readers Deany V. here,
Back out on the beat in Washington D.C., today were visiting The Jefferson Memorial way over on the opposite side of the Tidal Pool. It was placed here to complete something called the Four Point plan, with the other three points being Mr. Lincoln’s Memorial, The Capitol building and The White House. It seems awfully far away from the rest and sort of lonely. The building in self is based on the Pantheon in Rome but it kind of reminds me of a booby. There are so many legends and facts about Thomas Jefferson that I didn’t know where to start so I asked Pop what he knows about our third President and he said,” Thomas Jefferson suffered from Migraine headaches and chronic diarrhea, and kept one of his slaves as a mistress, what else do you need to know”.
The Monument was started way back in 1938, and was placed on a really popular spot for picnics that was covered by cherry trees given to The United States by the people of Japan back in 1912. So when the bulldozers arrived they found a bunch of ladies had chained themselves to the cherry trees. President Roosevelt told the ladies that they, plus the trees they were chained to would be moved as one. So the ladies gave up, but they kept complaining all the way up to the day The Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor, then for some reason nobody cared about the cherry trees anymore. On the inside there is a nineteen foot tall bronze statue of Thomas Jefferson one of the greatest men in American History. Hank asked me if Thomas Jefferson was really that tall, and if Jefferson could dunk a basketball. But I explained to him that the reason he is nineteen feet tall is because there is an unwritten rule in Washington that no statue can be taller than the statue of Freedom that stands on top of The Capitol Rotunda. So nineteen feet is the standard. The statue portrays Mr. Jefferson standing and wearing a fur collared coat that Hank said, “looks kind of fruity”, but with some investigative journalism I discovered that the statue is based on a painting in which Jefferson is wearing a fur collared coat given to him by a Polish immigrant. The statue was sculpted by a man named Rudolph Evans. In Jefferson’s left hand he holds what many believe is the Declaration of Independence, but I guess it could be a grocery list as Hank insisted.
Due to war time restrictions the original statue had to be constructed out of plaster and then painted to look bronze, I guess because we still used a lot of bronze for shields during World War II. Only after the war was over was a real bronze statue finally cast and the plaster one replaced. Finally on April 13 1943 the 200th anniversary of Thomas Jefferson’s birth the Memorial was finally dedicated by President Franklin Roosevelt. On That day President Roosevelt said, “Today in the midst of a great war for freedom, we dedicate a shrine to freedom”, Pretty keen, huh? Later when looking out a White House window President Roosevelt found that he couldn’t see the Jefferson Memorial because of all the cherry trees so he ordered more of them cut down so he could have an unobstructed view.
All in all, I learned a lot about Thomas Jefferson from my visit here. Things like he smuggled apple seeds out of Europe, that he hated to wear wigs, that he basically started the Library of Congress, and that he loved Ice Cream, but I guess the most important things I learned about the Jefferson memorial are that Hank is a big stupid head and that old F.D.R. sure hated cherry trees! Well in a couple days we will be leaving Washington D.C. and heading home to the compound I think I will have time to write at least one more report from our nation’s capitol. Pop wants to see the President about some really important plans so I guess our last stop will be The White House until then this is Deany V. your roving reporter signing off!                
GO TEAM VENTURE!

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Deaby V. At The Smithsonian Museum of American Art


Hello again Dear Readers,

Deany V. here, today I’m reporting to you from the Smithsonian Museum of American Art. Hank and I talked Brock into letting us visit here while he is across the street at The International Spy Museum. Actually he just handed us some money and told us to go away the moment he saw The International Spy Museum. His eyes kind of glazed over, and he had a little bit of drool coming out of the corner of his mouth, so we took that as our cue to skedaddle.
 The Museum of American Art has this really keen exhibit called the Art of Video Games which included all the old systems like Atari, and Intellivison, and this really cool Commodore 64 from 1982. Pop’s computer that he keeps all his super science junk on in his bedroom is a Commodore 64. (Hank says he also keep his naked lady pictures on there too).The Exhibit is a look at video games from way back in the seventies all the way up through today. Hank and I got to play games like Pac-Man, Super Mario Bros., The Secret of Monkey Island, Myst, and Flower on really giant wall sized screens; all together over 80 different games are represented. It was all free, whereas Brock had to pay like seventeen bucks to get into the International Spy Museum which I thought was a real gyp! Pop is up on Capitol Hill today attending to some “really pressing business” which he said could make us some serious money. I myself am skeptical because when he said it Brock just rolled his eyes, and said something about,” Fracking being dangerous”, at least I think he said Fracking. 
I read about the Video game exhibit on the Interwebs, you could actually vote for your favorite games to be included, they had over two hundred listed to choose from and  almost four million votes were cast, for some reason none of the ones I voted for made it.  I guess Burger Time, and Mickey Mouse-capades weren’t as earth shattering as I thought they were.
I’ve noticed a lot of the things we came to see in the city are closed, besides the Washington Monument, the Reflecting Pool in front of Mr. Lincoln’s memorial is closed for cleaning and repairs.(Pop said that’s just what the Government is telling the tourists, that really The Monarch crashed The Cocoon into it).  Also part of The Smithsonian Castle, the Science and Industry building, (the one with all the locomotives), is closed for refurbishment. It’s like we went to Brisbyland and The Run Away Shoe Ride was closed.  But seeing this really cool video game exhibit has led me to believe that Washington D.C. is a neat city to visit. It’s not just filled with boring Monuments and Statues of old dead guys like Hank said it was going to be. Well now the Art museum is about to close and we have to go see if we can pull Brock out of The International Spy Museum, he told us that if he didn’t come out in three or four hours we should come in and find him. He was sure that he would see some of his old friends or enemies there, and they could rehash some of the adventures they had back in the glory days of spying during the Cold War. He promised us that he would take us to Ford’s Theater to see if we could contact the ghost of honest Abe again. Until later this is your man on the Street in D.C. Deany V.
                                                     GO TEAM VENTURE!

Saturday, July 21, 2012

The Winner of The Venture Home News July Sweepstakes Give-Away-Palooza!

*FLASH*
WE HAVE A WINNER!
The Kidrobot Monarch figure given away in The Venture Home News July Sweepstakes Give-away-palooza has been awarded!
Elizabeth Branscum,(pictured here) has decided to give The Mighty Monarch a warm and friendly home! We here at The Venture Home News wish the new couple every happiness in the world! In August The Venture Home News will be giving away a Brock Samson 3,3/4 inch figure by Bif Bang Pow! to one lucky reader! So keep reading The Venture Home News where every contest is guaranteed to have a Winner!
And as always GO TEAM VENTURE!

Friday, July 20, 2012

Deany V. at The Washington Monument.


Hello again fans of the Venture Home News,
 Today I’m reporting to you from the grounds of the Washington Monument. The Monument itself is unfortunately closed to visitors due to damage suffered from an erratic blast from a rogue scientist’s earthquake machine. Brock said that he was part of the SPHINX sting operation that put an end to the experiment, but the damage was already done unfortunately.
Still it is an awe inspiring sight, especially looking out over the reflecting pool from the Lincoln memorial. But, just between you and me, I may not know much about art, but having seen the Jefferson memorial and the Lincoln memorial well…the Washington Monument isn’t a very good likeness. I mean, he was white, but he wasn’t quite so tall and pointy. I guess it is an abstract expression of his greater Washingtonness, not meant to directly represent him.
Or maybe it’s just a big obelisk. Maybe the Home News should hire an art critic to handle issues like this.
Speaking of Old Honest Abe, I tried to strike up a conversation with him when we were at his memorial, but I guess he wasn’t at home. I was going to tell him about how Mr. White and Mr. Billy had a run in with vampires and how if I’d known he had experience in that area I would have suggested that they ask him for help. I think helping them kill their vampire creditors would have been good enough to earn him his wings. Then again, when I mentioned the idea to Pop he told me that all creditors are vampires and that you’d need an army of mechanical super Lincoln’s to kill them all.
We came to the monument to watch a fireworks extravaganza to celebrate the birth of our nation. Because there isn’t much that better represents America than a bunch of loud explosions,(and Pop read on the interweb that the loudest place to watch them from is near the Washington Monument), I’m excited, but the waiting definitely made the time drag by.
I’ve been reading up on facts about the Washington monument to pass the time. For instance, did you know that a player from the Washington Senators once caught a baseball dropped from the top of it? It took thirteen tries, but he finally caught the last ball dropped, and oddly enough it didn’t kill him!
I tried to tell Hank about it, but he was more interested in whether or not it’s a giant missile, or a laser cannon, or a giant antenna for talking to aliens or lots of other things.
And all Pop will say is it’s something called a Phallic symbol, whatever that is. Any way it’s supposed to be closed for another two years while they make all the repairs, and if I know anything about Washington it is that two years can turn into twenty. It took them so long to complete the monument that it’s actually two different colors, because the stone although coming from the same quarry was actually cut from deeper strata. The Washington monument was supposed to be the tallest structure ever created by man, and it held that title for one year when it was finished. Then the French opened the Eiffel Tower, and we were S.O.L. as Pop says.
 But there are lots of Cool facts about The Washington Monument that most people don’t know, and that’s what we at the Venture Home News are all about, uncovering those facts. For Instance the same Trowel that George Washington used to lay the corner stone of the Capitol building was used to lay the cornerstone for The Washington Monument. Also there weren’t always bars on the windows at the top, they were added after some people committed suicide by jumping out the windows. People also liked to see what would happen when you dropped pennies, fruit and other things from the top. There are also stones commemorating everything from Native Americans, to individual States to The American Medical Association, even one sent by the Pope, but since the stairs have been closed for years you can’t see them anymore. One last thing, the Aluminum cone at the very tippy top was made by Tiffany’s, bet the tooth fairy would give you like ten grand if you could get that thing under your pillow! While we were waiting for the fireworks I went through the National Parks Junior Ranger program for The National Mall and got a really cool badge and a National Park backpack. Hank thought The National Mall was a really huge shopping Mall that sold other Malls! He is such a loser. The Train ride back to our Hotel in Maryland after the Fireworks was an experience that Pop would describe as a nightmare inexplicably ripped from the pages of some foreign guy that wrote about really crowded Metro trains stuffed with sweaty, smelly tourists. I’m sure that in the future Hank and I will be telling a trained therapist about the sights, sounds and smells of that night. Was it worth it? Was it worth the hours of waiting in the one-hundred degree heat? Was it worth having a metro train door close on you, and seeing your bodyguard throw an old oriental man back into the throng so you could get on board in his place? Just so I could say I’ve seen the 4th. of July fireworks from The National Mall at our Nation’s Capitol?...... Heck Yeah it was!
 If you take away the port-o-john smell, the pedicab ride,  and the hordes of foul mouthed rednecks I’d recommend it to all Americans! Well until later I remain as always your roving reporter Deany V.
                                            GO TEAM VENTURE!

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Deany V. at The Smithsonian Museum of Natural history


Deany V. here again readers.
Sorry about the interruption, I know the news never sleeps, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that a good reporter can’t get kidnapped now and then. As you know, our day at the Smithsonian Natural History Museum was cut short by the diabolical plans of the Monarch. Luckily for everyone involved, Team Venture’s very own Brock Samson was able to single-handedly defeat the Monarch’s henchmen and rescue yours truly.
Well, he wasn’t able to rescue me from a ruined afternoon, but other than that. It’s not really fair, Hank got to hang around the museum with Gary and watch Brock teach the Monarch’s henchmen a lesson and recover the Hope diamond, and all I got to do was sit around and watch slideshows of pictures of butterflies and a few of Pop, and listen to poetry and be fitted for a set of wings by the Monarch’s diabolical tailor. I guess it was supposed to make me want to kill Pop, but it mostly made me feel kind of bad for the Monarch. I mean, here he is in Washington D.C. with all these really keen things to do and see and all he wants to do is talk about how much he hates Pop. After I got bored of his butterfly show I asked him if he would set up my tape recorder so I could dictate my report about what I did see at the Natural History Museum before he interrupted us, but then he got a little upset and started yelling about how if I had any kind of journalistic instincts I wouldn’t worry about writing about a museum, but would take the opportunity of being in his lair to do an interview with him and write up a whole piece about the rich inner-life of the arch-villain. The nerve of some people, I don’t try and tell him how to do his job and I don’t think “The Mighty Monarch: Man Behind the Wings” would be a cinch for a Pulitzer prize. I mean it wouldn’t even be accurate reporting, anyone could see that he’s in front of his wings.
Luckily Brock showed up not a moment too soon and well…this is a family news paper, so the less said about how Brock convinced them to let me go, the better.
This is a picture of me, your intrepid young reporter, with some dinosaur fossils. Pop was especially interested in the fossils and H.E.L.P.eR. must have liked them too, because he kept following Pop around while he was looking at the fossils and touching them and weird whirring noises kept coming out of his hand and arm whenever he touched them. Then later I noticed him carrying vials of dust around, honestly you can never tell what our lovable robot will get up to. I’ll have to ask him about it when I get a chance. While we were in the prehistory wing of the natural history museum we saw some neat fossilized trees and a giant lump of coal, which was especially interesting since when we were upstairs in the geology wing we were able to see carbon in the form of diamonds. It’s amazing the things that nature can do. Seeing the way animals have changed and evolved over time by looking at their skeletons was interesting as well, horses evolved from these tiny, tree climbing animals over a course of millennia with lots of small changes along the way. When I said something to Pop about this, he just told me that working out kinks that took Mother Nature centuries was just the matter of a few hours to a super-scientist like himself. Which I guess is true, although I’ve never seen Pop make a horse. He did turn Scamp inside out though, but…I’m not really sure that was an improvement.
We also got to see mummies. Which seem super creepy, but once you get to know them like we did with Muggy Mum Mummy, you realize that they aren’t really that bad. They can’t help it that they stumble around and smell weird. And as a journalist you’ve got to be willing to keep an open mind about things. These mummies weren’t nearly as lively as Muggy though. Maybe they were just shy around crowds I didn’t get a chance to ask them because they were sealed up in glass cases. Maybe they were quarantined with some kind of ancient Egyptian flu? I should contact the CDC and see if I can get the scoop to pass along to you, the readers.
I’ll have to ask Brock if he has any super-secret government contacts that could give me an interview about this possible health threat.
I’ll keep you posted as the story develops.
This is Deany V., your Man in the Street of Washington D.C.
                                             Go Team Venture!

Friday, July 13, 2012

Butterflies Are Free!


“Greetings loyal Venture Home News Readers”, or as I like to think of you, sub-human internet dwellers.
 I am the Mighty Monarch, nefarious mastermind, archenemy of Dr. Thaddeus Venture and bane of the Venture family! You will remember me from the massive butterfly invasion that swarmed Central Park throwing all of New York City into chaos!
No?
Are you certain?
It took place in late September of 2001 so it might have been a little bit overshadowed in the news…But if you had any idea the logistics that go into getting that many butterflies together and training them to shut down a major public park, then having to deal with rescheduling, you would appreciate the fact that we simply had to move forward with the plan.
I don’t have to explain myself to you. I have a bachelor’s degree in Arch-Villainy! And a Master of Fine Arts degree in Creative Writing with a focus on Monarch themed poetry and villainous monologues! It was a two-year advanced degree program with a lot of work shopping.
Fine. Well I’m sure you’ve read about me in this ridiculous excuse for a newspaper, and after today, the whole of the nation will tremble at the mere mention of the Monarch. Because I am here at the Smithsonian Institute to liberate my imprisoned brothers from the “Insect Zoo” and “Butterfly Pavilion” where they charge people to walk through and get amusement from my helpless comrades. We stopped at the Krohn Conservatory on the way here and cleaned out their butterfly exhibit as well. My fiendish plot is twofold and since it is already being carried out and there is nothing you can possibly do to avert it, I’ll let you be the first to bask in the warm glow of the Monarch’s genius. First, Twenty-One leading a contingent of elite henchmen snuck into the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History (where, thanks to being a long time subscriber to Dean Venture’s silly little newspaper, I knew that the Venture family would be) and attempted to steal precious gems including the Hope Diamond, seizing Hank Venture as a hostage along the way. Now while Venture’s Swedish Murder Machine is engaged in mutilating and desecrating the bodies of these worthless pawns, Twenty-One will escape to sabotage the X-1, stranding the Ventures here in Washington for at least a few more days. Meanwhile I and Dr. Mrs. The Monarch have kidnapped Dean Venture and are liberating the Smithsonian’s entire collection of butterflies.
Why you ask?
The butterflies will be armed with high-tech and incredibly expensive nano-lasers, and released on the Mall to wreak havoc. Then a small cadre of butterflies that I have been personally training for months will use their lasers to carve my symbol into the sides of the Washington Monument, ensuring that all the squabbling little politicians and ragged masses are reminded daily of the might of the Monarch.
As for Dean Venture (pictured here during phase one of his butterfly themed “reeducation”), even now I am using all my ruthless cunning to break into young Dean’s mind and fill him with the absolutely pure hatred for all things Venture that stems from The Monarch. Then I will let Brock Samson believe that by redecorating my cocoon with the ruined bodies of dozens of my henchmen that he has forced me to surrender Dean, while in reality, I will be willing sending the newest weapon in my mighty arsenal of Venture based destruction right into the unsuspecting heart of the Venture family!
The cacophony of screams from the Geology wing of the museum seems to have quieted down for a few piteous cries for mercy or swift death so Samson must be finishing up his work, which means it’s time for me to wrap this up and get young master Venture back to the cocoon.
Dr. Mrs. The Monarch advised me that I should thank those responsible for the unavoidable success of this scheme, so I’d just like to say thanks to the unsung heroes that made this all possible; the majestic monarch butterflies, without the leadership they provide to the lesser butterflies we couldn’t possibly have pulled this off.
And of course to me, The Mighty Monarch.
Now, Minions! Move out!

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Deany V. Library of Congress


Hello again loyal Home News Readers, this is Deany V., your Washington beat reporter, at the Court of Neptune Fountain in front of the Library of Congress. The fountain features bronze statues of King Neptune, the tritons and naked ladies riding horses. Water horses. Not hippopotami though, despite their name meaning river horse. And Hank didn’t believe me that our animal fun-fact cards would ever come in useful!
The Library of Congress was probably one of the niftiest things we saw while we were in Washington. Imagine, so much knowledge and learning gathered in one place. Even Ook Ook would be a genius if he stayed there long enough.
Unfortunately, Pop wasn’t able to join us as he has been banned for life for trying to take books from the premises, so he’s going to “clear some things up” with the IRS instead. I can’t really blame him for the mistake though, most libraries let you borrow books. Not that I’ve been to a lot of libraries, in fact, I think this is my first real library. Of course, we had access to whole libraries of books through our learning beds. Except well, the library wasn’t really very big, because Grandpa Jonas filled it with lots of famous scientists and inventors and philosophers and then he let Mr. Col. Gentleman and the Action Man pick books that would educate a young boy adventurer to survive. So there was a lot of James Bond and biographies of General Patton and books about the lifestyles of the ancient Greeks. And nothing that would encourage us to be communists or radicals.
I wanted to get a library card since anyone can do it as long as they’re sixteen and have an i.d., so that I could spend some time reading up on journalism, to hone my craft, but Hank was impatient to get a move on. He’s really excited to see the Air and Space Museum, mostly because he has a plan to steal the Spirit of St. Louis and fly home so that Shallow Gravy doesn’t have to cancel their Fourth of July concert. Dermott and Hank have been making their own “fireworks” for weeks in preparation (More on that in our investigative report “Lab Chemicals, the Rotten Eggs and the Oven: The Dangers of Amateur Pyrotechnics”, pg 3b). Brock told him already that even if he could find a functioning airplane, he’d never get out of Washington’s airspace in it, and he’d spend the rest of our trip explaining his behavior to “that bunch of pansies at the Department of Homeland Security”.
The library itself contains 151,785,778 total items in its collection, not just books of course, they have a whole basement level devoted just to maps. Hank and I really wanted to take a look at them, because I’m sure there are some that are treasure maps and secrets hidden in the library, we could have had a whole National Treasure style adventure. But we weren’t allowed to see the maps. We did see Thomas Jefferson’s library that he sold to the government when the British burned the original Library of Congress collection. Also, the whole place is so extremely decorative that I could have spent hours just wandering around looking at the ceiling, there are murals honoring the senses, the muses, different fields of study, even a small one showing baseball.
One criticism, the staircase is supposed to feature cherubs representing different vocations to show that all walks of life are entitled to the knowledge contained in the library, but I looked all up and down and didn’t see journalist, super scientist or secret agent/bodyguards represented anyway. This is the kind of discrimination that simply can’t be allowed to continue in the heart of our Nation and that it is my duty as a reporter to bring to the attention of the public.
Well, Brock just got a  Communicator watch call from Pop, so it looks like we’re going to have to get moving again. Maybe we’ll finally get to meet our Uncle Sam  that Brock and Pop talk about so much, from what they’ve said, I think he lives here in Washington. I just hope he isn’t sort of creepy like Uncle J.J.
Watch this space for updates as they roll off the presses.
And Go Team Venture!

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

*THE VENTURE HOME NEWS JULY SWEEPSTAKES GIVE-AWAY-PALOOZA*

COME ON OVER TO THE VENTURE HOME NEWS ON FACEBOOK AN ENTER!
 Day 2. 105 entries so far!

The Venture Home News is giving away this Kidrobot Monarch Figure,(at least I Hope like Hell that's whats in the box).
To enter just comment on this post, you will be assigned a number in the order that you post. This contest will run through Sunday July 15th. On Sunday night at midnight the contest will close, then I put all the names in a hat and my son Simon will draw out the winner. I will notify the winner by Facebook message to get their address,(The winner will have 24 hours to respond, if they do not respond in 24 hours another number will be drawn). Then all you have to do is when the figure arrives is take a photo,(preferably with a camera) of you holding your tiny Monarch and post it on The Venture Home News. Bingo! No Strings attached! Just another reason to read The Venture Home News! Only 1 entry per person will be allowed. Brought to you by The Venture Home News where every contest is guaranteed to have a Winner!
                                           GO TEAM VENTURE!

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Mr. Venture Goes To Washington


 Mr. Venture Goes To Washington,                
 Hello again loyal readers, the Venture Home News is coming to you this week from Washington, D.C., where we would be enjoying a short vacation, but there is a massive power outage in this whole area of the country. The main-stream media is blaming some storm, but this reporter has the scoop. Pop had us stop off at the Pentagon so that he could demonstrate a new invention of his (that he came up with after he was poking around in some old boxes in the attic the other day) to influence the weather. He took a small model of a similar device that Grandpa Jonas had made, enlarged it and hooked it into the X-1 for power. After the demonstration went well, he convinced them to let him hook it into the power grid to show them what it could really do and well…things got a little out of hand.
But I’m not going to let it spoil my day, I’m very excited to be exploring our nation’s Capitol and hopefully bringing the sort of hard-hitting, no-nonsense journalism you’ve come to expect from the Home News to the inner workings of our government. This is me, outside the United States Capitol building. Pop came to town to testify before congress, I overhead that it had something to do with mine and Hank’s Christmas presents and Pop was telling Dr. Orpheus that Ralph Hall wouldn’t need his mumbo jumbo anymore once he convinced Congress that cloning should be a part of the health plan for congressmen. Brock promised to take Hank and me to see the Fourth of July fireworks, but he’s upset that there won’t be a zeppelin at the concert. I told him that I thought I saw a blimp the other day, and that the Smithsonian’s Air and Space Museum has a model of the Hindenburg, but it didn’t seem to cheer him up.
We went on a keen tour of the Capitol. We got to see the center of Washington, the beautiful paintings on the Rotunda and the statues of historical figures sent by the states. Each state gets two, some choose politicians, Presidents, or humanitarians and some even choose inventors. I saw Philo Farnsworth (inventor of the television) and Dr. John Gorrie (inventor of the air conditioner), it was scientastic!
I asked the tour guide why there wasn’t a statue of Grandpa Jonas, but he said that multiple states had discussed sending a statue of him, and since they didn’t want to have overlap when there were so many other people deserving of recognition they said that only one state could send a statue of him. And since none of them could agree which would be the one to do it, he never got a statue in the Capitol. But that his legacy was represented in several places in the Smithsonian. It made me proud that Grandpa is so well respected; I wonder if there will ever be a statue of Pop in the Capitol? He’s a pretty important guy after all.
Well, that’s all for today. I’ll keep you all posted on our trip.
Until next time, this is Deany V., taking the pulse of our Nation’s Capitol.

                                                 GO TEAM VENTURE!

Saturday, June 16, 2012

The Winner of The Venture Home News June Give-away Prize Extravaganza: Rockwell J. Pugglesworth

The Winner of The Venture Home News June Prize Give-away Extravaganza, Rockwell J. Pugglesworth shown here sporting his prize of 8 Venture Bros. Buttons! Congratulations Rockwell, and thanks to everyone that entered.
In July The Venture Home News will be giving away a Kidrobot Monarch figure still in it's original packaging so keep following The Venture Home News where every Contest is guaranteed to have a Winner!

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

My Monarch Henchman Costume for Dragon*Con 2012!

I am Henchman 18, or as the noobs call me, "Sarge", or "Old Dude". I've seen many campaigns in the service of The Mighty Monarch. I also rake leaves, and I make a mean Pepper Steak!
Henchman Costume courtesy of John McDonald of www.cinemasterystudio.com
John does professional work at reasonable prices, and will work with you to make sure it is exactly what you want. As you can see he really outdid himself on my Henchman Uniform!

Friday, June 8, 2012

Friday, June 1, 2012

The Venture Home News June Give-away Contest!

Come on over to The Venture Home News on Facebook and enter!

*ATTENTION*
The Venture Home News is giving away this set of 8 Venture Bros Buttons,(Including the coveted Testicular Torsion button)! All you have to do to enter is comment on this post, numbers will be assigned in the order you comment. This Contest will run until next Friday night,(June 8th.) at Midnight, then I'll close the Contest, put all the numbers in a hat and my son Simon will draw out the winning number. I will message the winner to get your address, (The winner will have 24 hours to respond to the message). Then I'll announce the winner and mail you the buttons, simple as that. All you have to do is when the buttons arrive put them on an article of clothing and photograph yourself wearing the buttons then post that photo on The Venture Home News. Good Luck! Only one entry will be accepted per person. And as Always GO TEAM VENTURE!

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

The Winner of The Brock Samson Button Give-away Contest.


The Winner of the latest Venture Home News Give-away was Katie Daniele Timoney. Katie received these 6 Brock Samson/Venture Bros.buttons. Congratulations Katie! Thanks to all 95 of our readers that entered. Look for our next exciting give-away coming in June!
The Venture Home News where every contest is guaranteed to have a winner!
GO TEAM VENTURE!

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Henchman tranq dart gun for Dragon*Con 2012

Here's a photo of my Henchman Dart Gun made for me by John McDonald of cinemasterystudio.com. cinemasterystudios.com for all your henching needs!

Thursday, May 17, 2012

The Venture Bros. Halloween Special 2012!

The Venture Bros. Halloween Special!
http://www.thefutoncritic.com/showatch/venture-bros/
(from Adult Swim's press release, May 2012) This October on Adult Swim, the Venture Family fills your Halloween goody bag with fun-sized Truth. Created and directed by Jackson Publick and written by Publick and Doc Hammer, both of whom also provide voices for the special, the Venture Brothers Halloween Special is being animated by Titmouse, Inc.

Monday, May 14, 2012

My Henchman Uniform for Dragon*Con.




Henchman Uniform created for me by John McDonald of cinemasterystudios.com. John does great, quality work on everything that cinemasterystudio creates at affordable prices. So if your in the line for anything from Venture Bros. to Star Wars Cosplay check out John McDonald at cinemasterystudios.com, and tell him Tim sent you!

Monday, April 16, 2012

The Rusty Gear! 2012. June 28th-July1st Natick Mass.

http://www.therustygear.org/
THE RUSTY GEAR 2012-A METALOCALYPSE/VENTURE BROS. CONFERENCE HELD IN NATICK MASS. June 28th-July 1st 2012.

If you decide to register to go please mention that you read about it here In The Venture Home News. All you have to do is mention The Venture Home News as a referral when you register. Thank you!
The Management
http://www.therustygear.org/?page=sponsors%2Fppp&fb_source=message

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Winner of The Venture Home News, Adult Swim Carnival Tour 2012 S.P.H.I.N.X T-Shirt give-away contest receives Prize!

Winner of The Venture Home News, Adult Swim Carnival Tour 2012 S.P.H.I.N.X T-Shirt give-away contest receives Prize!
Emanuele Vecchio,(shown here) Proclaims shirt to be,"Coolest free shirt Ever!" adds "GO TEAM VENTURE!" both are sentiments shared by this writer. Keep reading the Venture Home News and watch for more exciting give-aways in the future. Brought to you by The Venture Home News, where every contest is guaranteed to have a Winner!

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Bif Bang Pow finally makes announcement concerning Venture Bros. 3&3/4 inch figure line!

http://www.bifbangpow.com/2012/04/brock-is-coming.html
BROCK IS COMING!

The Winner is Emanuele Vecchio!

The Winner of The Venture Home News Adult Swim Carnival Tour 2012 S.P.H.I.N.X t shirt giveaway  was Emanuele Vecchio.
We had 174 entries. Thanks to all who entered! Keep reading The Venture Home News in the future for more exciting giveaway contests!

Friday, March 30, 2012

The Venture Home News, Adult Swim Carnival Tour 2012 t shirt give-away Contest!

The Venture Home News t shirt give-away Contest!
It's that time again dear readers. The Venture Home News is giving away this Adult Swim Carnival Tour 2012 exclusive SHINX t shirt, (Mens size large), which I had made especially to give away to one lucky reader. Same deal as always, all you have to do is comment on this post, and you will be assigned a number. Then on Monday April 2nd. I'll close this contest put all the numbers in a hat and my son Simon will draw out the lucky number, I'll then message the lucky person to get your address, then I'll mail you the shirt. Simple as that, all you have to do is when the shirt arrives take a photo of yourself wearing the shirt and post it here on The Venture Home News where every contest is guaranteed to have a winner! Only one entry per person will be accepted. So good luck, tell your friends and as always GO TEAM VENTURE!
Visit The Venture Home News on Facebook to enter.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Adult Swim Carnival Tour 2012 comes to Lexington!










The Adult Swim Carnival Tour Came to The Farmers market parking lot adjacent to Rupp Arena in Lexington KY today. They Brought kick ass games, and music by local bands along with Flostradamus and all the free SWAG you could eat. In the Venture Bros. line they gave away free SPHINX t shirts and Order of The Triad canvas totes. They gave out raffle tickets, and at the end of the night one lucky person got to spend 60 seconds in the Stimulation Station Cash Booth. the Crowd was easily 3000 strong,and in my estimation they had a Rockin Ass time! The Adult Swim people couldn't have been nicer, and I hope they make Lexington an annual stop on the tour!