“Greetings loyal Venture Home News Readers”, or as I like to
think of you, sub-human internet dwellers.
I am the Mighty
Monarch, nefarious mastermind, archenemy of Dr. Thaddeus Venture and bane of
the Venture family! You will remember me from the massive butterfly invasion
that swarmed Central Park throwing all of New
York City into chaos!
No?
No?
Are you certain?
It took place in late September of 2001 so it might have been a little bit overshadowed in the news…But if you had any idea the logistics that go into getting that many butterflies together and training them to shut down a major public park, then having to deal with rescheduling, you would appreciate the fact that we simply had to move forward with the plan.
I don’t have to explain myself to you. I have a bachelor’s degree in Arch-Villainy! And a Master of Fine Arts degree in Creative Writing with a focus on Monarch themed poetry and villainous monologues! It was a two-year advanced degree program with a lot of work shopping.
Fine. Well I’m sure you’ve read about me in this ridiculous excuse for a newspaper, and after today, the whole of the nation will tremble at the mere mention of the Monarch. Because I am here at the Smithsonian Institute to liberate my imprisoned brothers from the “Insect Zoo” and “Butterfly Pavilion” where they charge people to walk through and get amusement from my helpless comrades. We stopped at the Krohn Conservatory on the way here and cleaned out their butterfly exhibit as well. My fiendish plot is twofold and since it is already being carried out and there is nothing you can possibly do to avert it, I’ll let you be the first to bask in the warm glow of the Monarch’s genius. First, Twenty-One leading a contingent of elite henchmen snuck into the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History (where, thanks to being a long time subscriber to Dean Venture’s silly little newspaper, I knew that the Venture family would be) and attempted to steal precious gems including the Hope Diamond, seizing Hank Venture as a hostage along the way. Now while Venture’s Swedish Murder Machine is engaged in mutilating and desecrating the bodies of these worthless pawns, Twenty-One will escape to sabotage the X-1, stranding the Ventures here in Washington for at least a few more days. Meanwhile I and Dr. Mrs. The Monarch have kidnapped Dean Venture and are liberating the Smithsonian’s entire collection of butterflies.
It took place in late September of 2001 so it might have been a little bit overshadowed in the news…But if you had any idea the logistics that go into getting that many butterflies together and training them to shut down a major public park, then having to deal with rescheduling, you would appreciate the fact that we simply had to move forward with the plan.
I don’t have to explain myself to you. I have a bachelor’s degree in Arch-Villainy! And a Master of Fine Arts degree in Creative Writing with a focus on Monarch themed poetry and villainous monologues! It was a two-year advanced degree program with a lot of work shopping.
Fine. Well I’m sure you’ve read about me in this ridiculous excuse for a newspaper, and after today, the whole of the nation will tremble at the mere mention of the Monarch. Because I am here at the Smithsonian Institute to liberate my imprisoned brothers from the “Insect Zoo” and “Butterfly Pavilion” where they charge people to walk through and get amusement from my helpless comrades. We stopped at the Krohn Conservatory on the way here and cleaned out their butterfly exhibit as well. My fiendish plot is twofold and since it is already being carried out and there is nothing you can possibly do to avert it, I’ll let you be the first to bask in the warm glow of the Monarch’s genius. First, Twenty-One leading a contingent of elite henchmen snuck into the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History (where, thanks to being a long time subscriber to Dean Venture’s silly little newspaper, I knew that the Venture family would be) and attempted to steal precious gems including the Hope Diamond, seizing Hank Venture as a hostage along the way. Now while Venture’s Swedish Murder Machine is engaged in mutilating and desecrating the bodies of these worthless pawns, Twenty-One will escape to sabotage the X-1, stranding the Ventures here in Washington for at least a few more days. Meanwhile I and Dr. Mrs. The Monarch have kidnapped Dean Venture and are liberating the Smithsonian’s entire collection of butterflies.
Why you ask?
The butterflies will be armed with high-tech and incredibly expensive nano-lasers, and released on the Mall to wreak havoc. Then a small cadre of butterflies that I have been personally training for months will use their lasers to carve my symbol into the sides of the Washington Monument, ensuring that all the squabbling little politicians and ragged masses are reminded daily of the might of the Monarch.
The butterflies will be armed with high-tech and incredibly expensive nano-lasers, and released on the Mall to wreak havoc. Then a small cadre of butterflies that I have been personally training for months will use their lasers to carve my symbol into the sides of the Washington Monument, ensuring that all the squabbling little politicians and ragged masses are reminded daily of the might of the Monarch.
As for Dean Venture (pictured here during phase one of his
butterfly themed “reeducation”), even now I am using all my ruthless cunning to
break into young Dean’s mind and fill him with the absolutely pure hatred for
all things Venture that stems from The Monarch. Then I will let Brock Samson believe
that by redecorating my cocoon with the ruined bodies of dozens of my henchmen
that he has forced me to surrender Dean, while in reality, I will be willing
sending the newest weapon in my mighty arsenal of Venture based destruction right
into the unsuspecting heart of the Venture family!
The cacophony of screams from the Geology wing of the museum seems to have quieted down for a few piteous cries for mercy or swift death so Samson must be finishing up his work, which means it’s time for me to wrap this up and get young master Venture back to the cocoon.
Dr. Mrs. The Monarch advised me that I should thank those responsible for the unavoidable success of this scheme, so I’d just like to say thanks to the unsung heroes that made this all possible; the majestic monarch butterflies, without the leadership they provide to the lesser butterflies we couldn’t possibly have pulled this off.
And of course to me, The Mighty Monarch.
Now, Minions! Move out!
The cacophony of screams from the Geology wing of the museum seems to have quieted down for a few piteous cries for mercy or swift death so Samson must be finishing up his work, which means it’s time for me to wrap this up and get young master Venture back to the cocoon.
Dr. Mrs. The Monarch advised me that I should thank those responsible for the unavoidable success of this scheme, so I’d just like to say thanks to the unsung heroes that made this all possible; the majestic monarch butterflies, without the leadership they provide to the lesser butterflies we couldn’t possibly have pulled this off.
And of course to me, The Mighty Monarch.
Now, Minions! Move out!
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