Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Deany V. at The Smithsonian Museum of Natural history


Deany V. here again readers.
Sorry about the interruption, I know the news never sleeps, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that a good reporter can’t get kidnapped now and then. As you know, our day at the Smithsonian Natural History Museum was cut short by the diabolical plans of the Monarch. Luckily for everyone involved, Team Venture’s very own Brock Samson was able to single-handedly defeat the Monarch’s henchmen and rescue yours truly.
Well, he wasn’t able to rescue me from a ruined afternoon, but other than that. It’s not really fair, Hank got to hang around the museum with Gary and watch Brock teach the Monarch’s henchmen a lesson and recover the Hope diamond, and all I got to do was sit around and watch slideshows of pictures of butterflies and a few of Pop, and listen to poetry and be fitted for a set of wings by the Monarch’s diabolical tailor. I guess it was supposed to make me want to kill Pop, but it mostly made me feel kind of bad for the Monarch. I mean, here he is in Washington D.C. with all these really keen things to do and see and all he wants to do is talk about how much he hates Pop. After I got bored of his butterfly show I asked him if he would set up my tape recorder so I could dictate my report about what I did see at the Natural History Museum before he interrupted us, but then he got a little upset and started yelling about how if I had any kind of journalistic instincts I wouldn’t worry about writing about a museum, but would take the opportunity of being in his lair to do an interview with him and write up a whole piece about the rich inner-life of the arch-villain. The nerve of some people, I don’t try and tell him how to do his job and I don’t think “The Mighty Monarch: Man Behind the Wings” would be a cinch for a Pulitzer prize. I mean it wouldn’t even be accurate reporting, anyone could see that he’s in front of his wings.
Luckily Brock showed up not a moment too soon and well…this is a family news paper, so the less said about how Brock convinced them to let me go, the better.
This is a picture of me, your intrepid young reporter, with some dinosaur fossils. Pop was especially interested in the fossils and H.E.L.P.eR. must have liked them too, because he kept following Pop around while he was looking at the fossils and touching them and weird whirring noises kept coming out of his hand and arm whenever he touched them. Then later I noticed him carrying vials of dust around, honestly you can never tell what our lovable robot will get up to. I’ll have to ask him about it when I get a chance. While we were in the prehistory wing of the natural history museum we saw some neat fossilized trees and a giant lump of coal, which was especially interesting since when we were upstairs in the geology wing we were able to see carbon in the form of diamonds. It’s amazing the things that nature can do. Seeing the way animals have changed and evolved over time by looking at their skeletons was interesting as well, horses evolved from these tiny, tree climbing animals over a course of millennia with lots of small changes along the way. When I said something to Pop about this, he just told me that working out kinks that took Mother Nature centuries was just the matter of a few hours to a super-scientist like himself. Which I guess is true, although I’ve never seen Pop make a horse. He did turn Scamp inside out though, but…I’m not really sure that was an improvement.
We also got to see mummies. Which seem super creepy, but once you get to know them like we did with Muggy Mum Mummy, you realize that they aren’t really that bad. They can’t help it that they stumble around and smell weird. And as a journalist you’ve got to be willing to keep an open mind about things. These mummies weren’t nearly as lively as Muggy though. Maybe they were just shy around crowds I didn’t get a chance to ask them because they were sealed up in glass cases. Maybe they were quarantined with some kind of ancient Egyptian flu? I should contact the CDC and see if I can get the scoop to pass along to you, the readers.
I’ll have to ask Brock if he has any super-secret government contacts that could give me an interview about this possible health threat.
I’ll keep you posted as the story develops.
This is Deany V., your Man in the Street of Washington D.C.
                                             Go Team Venture!

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