Deany V. at The White House.

Hello again faithful readers of The Venture Home News,

Deany V. here at The White House, well this is as close as I got to The White House because when we pulled up to the gate and Brock showed them his I.D. the guard made a phone call and all of a sudden Secret Service agent Hauser came running out waving a gun and shouting. After a heated argument with Brock and Pop agent Hauser told us it would be a cold day in H-E double hockey sticks before we ever were allowed back in The White House after that whole disaster that happened during the Breyer administration! So after impounding our vehicle and strip searching us all, (even H.E.L.P.eR), they finally let us go. So in today’s photo I’m on foot in front of The White House with the rest of the raggedy butt masses, as Pop called them, only he didn’t say butt.  The White House was designed by James Hoban and was supposedly patterned after a building called The Leinster House in Dublin Ireland. It was built between 1792 and 1800 which seems like a long time to build one house, the first President to live there was John Adams.  President Thomas Jefferson was the first to have a Water Closet installed, (Hank wanted to know why ancient people kept their water in a closet, Yeesh), In 1814 during The War of 1812 those mean old British, (probably some of Uncle Gentleman’s relatives), burned it down, afterwards there was talk in the Congress of moving the Capitol to Cincinnati, boy am I glad that cooler heads prevailed. Reconstruction began almost immediately and President James Monroe moved in, in 1817. Between 1818 and the late 1970’s it was painted white more than forty times. It wasn’t always called The White House, in the beginning it was called the Presidential Palace, then The Executive Mansion, not until Teddy Roosevelt, by executive order changed the name and, had the words White House engraved on the official stationary in 1901 did the name change for good. It took me two hours to explain to Hank that Teddy Roosevelt, and Franklin Roosevelt were not the same person, I’m not sure if he believes me even now. By 1948 the house was declared to be in danger of collapse, so President Harry Truman moved into the Blair House and a  restoration was began, in the end it would cost nearly six million dollars and take four years to complete. The walls were stripped bare of all the fixtures, and murals and the whole place was gutted, with nothing left of the original but the outside walls. The only thing they couldn’t clean out was the Ghost of Mr. Lincoln, (Pop said, “It was because he didn’t want to spend eternity with his nut job wife”, but I don’t think he had much choice. Everything on the inside was replaced with steel and concrete, it was fire proofed, and air conditioned, and all those cool underground Umbrella Corporation type bunkers were installed. Then all the old junk they had been so careful removing was replaced so it looked just like it had before they started. Sort of a facelift only on the inside, leaving us with what we basically have today not so much a house as a fortress disguised as a house. Today they use some really cool missiles called NASAMS to protect the White House, and the airspace above The White House is restricted. A fact which Brock pointed out to Pop when Pop wanted to buzz The White House with the X1 on our way out of Washington.

All in all I had a great time visiting our nation’s capitol, and I suggest all Americans make the time to visit, although I think Hank would have probably rather stayed home and practiced his bass with Dermott. I’m not really sure if the trip was successful for Pop or not since he’s been rather quiet since the cavity search that he and Brock got from White House security. Well we’re flying back to the compound now, and I can’t help but wonder why we never found that statue of Grandpa Jonas that I was sure would be in Washington since he was the greatest super-scientist of his day. I’m sure he was as great as Philo T. Farnsworth, and he got a statue in The Capitol building the only thing that guy ever invented was the television. Well until next time dear readers I remain your roving cubby reporter Deany V. and for more hard hitting journalism keep reading The Venture Home News!

                                      GO TEAM VENTURE!